Moving MySQL servers
Seems that moving from an older version of MySQL to a newer version (on a new server) causes a lot of problems. Luckily, the database that was causing me problems was quite a small one, so I just copy and pasted the queries into a new file and ran the queries that way. If I come across another messed-up database, I guess I'll have to write a script that fixes most (hopefully all) problems with it.
EDIT: seems that the old MySQL server added in random backslashes, when doing a MySQL dump. Weird.
EDIT 2: found a fix, just me being stupid. How to import from MySQL dump